Something once lost will never return
by MokonaYi
Summary: Scenes of that night flowed back into Ciel's mind and Sebastian was there to help him. Set after Madam Red's funeral, after episode 6 of the anime. Ciel centric. Reviews YAY!


**AN:** My tears won't stop flowing out after I watched episode 6 of this anime... sobs…A little something that is going on in my mind when I was watching it…(for the 10th time I guess…)

_Almost_ a sequel to Sleep…

**Disclaimer: **Kuroshitsuji is not mine…

Set after Madam Red's funeral…

_#MOKONA#_

"Young master, I made some blueberry cheese cake, would you like to have some?" Sebastian flashed a smile towards his master before serving a slice of the cake. The small boy sitting in the chair just gave a small nod, without even lifting his head up from the stack of papers he was reading. After serving 2 years beside his master, the butler knew very well that the 12-year-old Ciel would not resist the desserts he served, even though he was busy reading some documents from the company. Normally, Sebastian would not let his young master to have cakes or desserts before his bedtime, but today was an exception. Ciel had not even eat anything during dinner, instead he just poked around his steak before leaving the dinner table and everyone's face was soon plastered with a concern expression towards their young master.

The servants' voice could clearly be heard from the study room they were in. "Here, please enjoy…" the butler lower the slice of cake silently in front of Ciel before turning away to pour his master a cup of tea that he had prepared. After attending Madam Red's funeral today, Ciel and Sebastian were now back to their mansion in the outskirts of London and those troublesome servants were both delighted and worried about the head of Phantomhive. News from London spread fast and they knew Madam Angelina had just passed away few days ago. Worse, their worry turned larger when they saw Ciel's left hand injured and bandaged, but the young master refused to say anything about the wound.

"Young master?" Sebastian knew something was wrong. "Is there anything wrong?" the young boy was not even touching the cake and the tea served to him.

Instead, small fingers were curling around his own throat, feeling the bruises that took the shape of familiar fingers under his collar. "N-Nothing's wrong, Sebastian…" the young boy was still staring onto the papers in front of him but the words seemed to have a problem entering his brain and registering themselves as information. All the while, his right hand never left his throat as images of _that_ night flew back to his brain, reminding him every incident that happened.

"…Young…master…?"

Sebastian frowned when he noticed his young master was not even paying attention to him and dark blue eyes held no focus of all, just staring blankly on the papers. God…his right arm felt so hot and pain as if blood was starting to trickle down from the newly inflicted wound. Foremost, the pain was starting to curse towards his body, causing Ciel to wince just a little bit. Without him realizing, the demon already picked up the faint voice and started to walk closer towards the boy in front of him.

"_YOU WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND!"_

The recognizable loud voice replayed in his mind and he squeezed his eyes tightly, trying to chase away the illusions. Breathing raggedly, Ciel's left hand left hand grabbed his aching injured arm whilst his right hand remained around his neck, evoking the painful memories and the pressure strangling him, pressing him hard against the cold and wet wall. The fingers wrapping around his throat were too different from what he had felt before. They were usually used to lift him up into an embrace or to ruffle his hair when they were playing 'London Bridge is Falling Down' with his parents, not choking him and cutting off his air supply.

The demon knew something was terribly wrong when he saw the small boy drifting into his inner world. He stepped around the oak table and placed one of his gloved hands on the small shoulder. "Young master…?" Sebastian was trying to stir the boy awake from the dreadful dream and memories he was recalling in the small brain of his.

"_IF YOU HAD NOT BEEN BORN, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST!!!!"_

"…" the pain on his arm just traveled to his head and was now causing him more pain and agony. Although Ciel did feel an encouraging hand on his shoulder but the voices just kept coming back, louder and louder every time, piercing into his brain. An image of the woman swinging the knife towards him was replaying right in front of him even though he had already shut his eyes tightly. The pressure around his neck and arm was also increasing as seconds passed, but he failed to realize it was his own hands that were causing them.

"Young master!" this time, Sebastian raised his voice just a little as both of his gloved hands were now clutching tightly around the small boy's shoulders, scooping Ciel from the water that was drowning him. The one and only dark blue eye flew open, staring straight at the demon and beads of sweat were starting to form on the 12-year-old boy's forehead, indicating just how stressful the host of the body was. Sebastian flashed a smile towards the confused eye and took a few steps away from the arm chair that was devouring the small figure on it.

"I guess you are too tired tonight after all the traveling, young master..." Sebastian smiled again, looking at the boy who was still gasping for air. "Let's retreat earlier tonight, shall we?" he held out a hand towards Ciel, waiting for a reply from the young master. The demon knew it would be best for the human in front of him to take an earlier bath and rest as soon as possible tonight. After all, the small boy had just recovered from a burning fever and the wound on his arm had not fully healed either. He required all the rest his body needed to recover and mend itself back to shape.

"Yea…we should…" Ciel lowered the hand around his neck and began to stand up from the chair. Yes, it was all his illusions. None of them will happen in front of him anymore, especially by that particular person. Small hands gripped around the oak table for support before his own legs were firm enough to sustain the weight of the host. Ciel looked at the desk once more before walking out of the study room with Sebastian following behind him. The stack of papers could always be read by tomorrow; they were just some usual routine reports and did not seem that important and urgent enough. Well, the cake was a waste since he would really like to have some if there was no nauseous feeling in his stomach. Bard and the rest could have it since they loved everything Sebastian made.

At the first place, why was he even having those illusions and images in his brain? Why were the words his Aunt Ann uttered even replaying in his mind? Ciel could not help but to agree to his butler's statement: he was really a fool. Sebastian saw strange his master behaved tonight when he caught the small boy letting out a small chuckle, as if he was laughing at himself.

Indeed, he would never have another chance to witness the color of passionate red on that suited the person so much, making her a perfect figure and enhancing the beauty she held, mesmerizing whoever who let their eyes wonder around her. Yes, she had the hair and eye color of licorice that burns the earth, a type of red that shined into everyone's eyes, leaving beautiful memories in them.

"…something once lost will never return…" Ciel mumbled to himself.

Angelina Durless Barnett was dead.

And no matter how Ciel hoped, she would not return to him…forever…

"Aunt Ann, rest in peace…"

_#MOKONA#_

**AN:** How was it? I hope my grammars are getting better....haha! It was relatively short compared to the other stories I wrote but I was still crying when I typed this…(Cries) I just found out there were extra scenes in the anime and it was slightly different from the manga. Did you guys enjoy the latest episode too? Tell me all about it!

Angelina's funeral was really pretty and Ciel was being really nice to his aunt! (Despite she was trying to stab him and all that…)

Till then!

**MokonaYi**


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